Let God Keep you lifted up!! / Melody "Mama" Sanders (mother)
Well another year rolls around for the day we all hate to remember. We are humans and we will remember the good & bad tines. Mama misses you so much.
I tried to cover my feelings up and I don't know if that helped or not. I kinda stayed to myself when we were around friends and church family I just wanted to be alone.
I did not go to church Sunday was not feeling good but the honest truth was all I could think about was you and what happened. How I would have given anything to give you 1 last hug or I love you. There are things that has be dealt with here and I'm not ready to deal with them. Don't know if I ever will. You are one special child. God could have picked anyone else but instead he picked a beautiful flower you " my Janea."
I love and really miss you and I will until the day we meet again. As life goes on here I make it the best way I can that is through Jesus Christ himself.
I have realized there is no one on this earth that you can really talk to who truley understand. My God is my best friend.
I think it just hit harder this year it could be because you have grandmother Harper with you. The last days I spent with her we laughed cried cried tears of joy. One thing I remember talking about there was no one who could cook a egg for you like Grandaddy Harper did. His special touch did the trick everytime. I know Grandmother Harper and you are keeping Grandaddy Harper and billy straight...lol.
As much as I miss you I could never ask for you to be brought into this world. I can't imagine how it is there singing and dancing with the Angels. Trust me there will be a day when we meet again. When it is God's will it will be in God's time.
There are some things that are going on and instead of people trying to find out the truth they just want to blame someone else for what is going on in there life. I am dealing with it through prayer. I have done every Christian thing I know to do I said I'm sorry but then the grown-ups still want to make things worse for the others involved.
Baby there is one thing that hurts me I know it is not true but if I knew who said it I would love to go and get it straightened out. Your brother Ryan is all boy and he is no Angel I have never said he doesn't do any wrong. I feel like I stay on to him to much. He or any child only sees and hears that is how they learn. But for someone to tell me this person to her that someone who likes me and loves me says I let Ryan run all over me and I get onto their kids hard is just not adding up. Mama is leaving this due to really just not feeling like dealing with the 9th 10th and 11th.
I love you pumkin Mama
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